For now, I thought I'd share how and why we decided to do a home birth. As you can imagine, I've gotten mixed reactions, mostly of surprise or curiosity, some who don't ask a single question about it but quickly tiptoe out of the "awkward" conversation...those always make me laugh! I've also gotten a lot of support and very, very little negativity!
My first two births were fifteen and eleven and a half years ago, respectively, and were hospital births. At the time, honestly, the thought of a home birth never even entered my brain. Juliet's birth was smooth, I had an epidural and in 12 hours she had arrived. With Allison, it was somewhat of a traumatic birth. My water broke at just 35 weeks and they administered the dreaded pitocin which brought on STRONG and constant contractions. They failed to check my progress before administering the epidural and they also administered it incorrectly, causing my entire left side to be completely on FIRE. While I was laying on my side while they frantically tried to fix it, I had to PUSH. Needless to say, I ended up giving birth in even more pain, with my left side on fire. Plus feeling the lovely "jello legs" effects of the epidural keeping me bed bound for hours, long after she was out. But I have to say, pushing was a wonderful release and I liked being able to feel that urge.
This time I knew I wanted a different experience. I just knew there had to be a better way for me personally to give birth. And I sincerely didn't enjoy being in such a cold, sterile environment of the hospital. So I started to look into delivering in a birth center. It was around this same time that Chris and I watched "The Business of Being Born" (PHENOMENAL and empowering) on Netflix while researching other birthing options. If you've never seen this, it is very eye opening. So many things I would have done differently with my girls if I only knew! Another new favorite resource of mine is Ina May's "Guide to Childbirth". She is an incredibly experienced midwife and so full of wisdom!
This may surprise you, especially if you know my husband, but after watching this movie together, it was actually Chris who turned to me and said "why don't we just do a home birth?" Say whaaaat???
After we discussed it further (and I confirmed that Chris hadn't completely lost his mind!) we decided that since this baby came about in the most artificial, scientific way possible, we wanted our actual pregnancy and birthing process to be as natural and God-centered as possible! How much more natural can you get than delivering in your own bedroom with your husband catching your baby?! The choice became clear!
I found an independent midwife who works out of her home, so all of my prenatal visits are in her cozy home office. No germy OB/GYN office to deal with! She is all about natural, so will often "prescribe" me teas or essential oils to take for labor prep or aches and pains. I also LOVE that some of the tests and procedures that are normally "standard practice" in the medical field and presented to you as "mandatory", are actually NOT and I can (and did!) opt out of many of them! No need for me to go through procedures or tests that are actually completely unnecessary. I love that!
Back to the Reasons I'm Planning A Home Birth
1. I love my freedom and independence. I don't want someone telling me what I can and can't eat or drink during labor or what position I have to birth in. Flat on my back while pushing??? No thanks! I can also wear what I want, which may be NOTHING at all! No annoying, gross hospital gown necessary. I also LOVE that I will not have people (strangers) coming in and out of my room at their free will while I'm trying to focus and my husband and I are experiencing one of the most intimate moments we will ever have together! Hospital procedures and regulations? Don't have to deal with them!
2. I don't like hospitals. If you know me, you will know that I am not a huge fan of hospitals or doctors offices. I only go if totally necessary. I personally believe that hospitals are for sick or injured people. I am not sick or injured, I'm pregnant! I sincerely don't want to be treated like a medical patient and or that my being pregnant is a "medical condition". I am excited and ready to allow my body to do what God designed it to do in the comfort of my own home, apart from unnecessary medical interventions. I'm a big believer in having your baby where you are most comfortable. Chris and I have put a lot of time and effort making our house into a home, so for us our comfort is emphatically at home.
3. I get to choose who will be in and out of my room. In my past births, I didn't know a soul in the hospital, other than my significant other and whatever other family members were there. The nurses were all strangers to me, and while most were wonderful, I quickly found out they would disappear when their shift ended and a new nurse would show up! And if I was lucky enough for my doctor to be on call the day I gave birth, she was would basically show up for the last 30 minutes to an hour, in time to deliver the baby. Wasn't exactly a very personal, intimate experience to say the least. This time around, it will be just myself and Chris and our kids for my early labor. At some point when I'm ready and wanting them to, my wonderful doula, midwife, and her assistant will come to the house. There won't be nurses coming in and out of my room in the middle of the night, waking me up to check vitals, etc. I will be very thankful for SLEEP this time after what will surely be a long, exhausting day.
4. I have to rely on God and God alone for my relief. While my doula, midwife and even Chris have LOTS of tricks up their sleeves to help me remain as comfortable as possible during labor, ultimately I know I need to rely on God for me to make it through labor free from medical pain-relief. He's all I'll have to get me through! My kids decorated some amazing birth affirmations for me to put around the bedroom and Chris is armed with scripture verses to say to me throughout. I've also got an amazing worship songs playlist ready to go. I really want a God-centered birth, where the presence of the Holy Spirit is clearly evident. In a hospital setting, I'm certain I would give in to an epidural knowing it's available to me. Again, this time I'll have no choice but to fully rely on God's strength and grace to get me through. And I'm excited my kids will get to witness that!
5. I get to have a water birth. I had wanted to labor in the water in the hospital with Allison, but wasn't allowed for multiple reasons. They wouldn't let me because my water had broken, not to mention I was hooked up to so many monitors and tubes, it wouldn't have been possible. This time around, I won't be hooked up to anything and can labor where I want, when I want! So many less restrictions. I even plan on going into our pool with our kiddos, at least in early labor. They are wonderful distractions!
6. I don't have to pack a hospital bag or wonder when to head to the hospital. Neither is even a thought to me. And I love that I don't have to do the dreaded, uncomfortable car ride to the hospital. If you've ever had contractions in a car, for some reason they seem 100x worse! But I don't need to pack anything, go anywhere or deal with the hour long process of questions and paperwork just to get admitted.
7. Bonding with baby will be uninterrupted. I'm so excited for us all cuddling up in our king bed together in the days after baby arrives. No distractions and nothing to do besides bond. My midwife will come back to the house to check on myself and baby a couple days after baby is born, but other than that, it will just be us. Yay!
Going through the IVF process really changed me somehow. Even though it was fairly smooth for us, it was still a LOT of work and a very odd, clinical process. For some reason it made me want to do everything following the embryo transfer as naturally as possible. After the required ultrasounds by the fertility clinic stopped at 12 weeks, I haven't had or wanted an ultrasound since. We will also be cloth diapering this little nugget, placenta encapsulation, and delayed cord clamping. If it's a boy, he will remain intact and unaltered, just as God made him. Fun fact, my brother was a home birth and I was supposed to be as well (I didn't cooperate when I came two weeks late) but my placenta was buried in the yard I grew up in and where my mother still lives today!
If, during labor, it becomes absolutely necessary and my midwife advises it, I'm not opposed to being transferred to one of our many nearby hospitals. I can be there in all of about 7 minutes. Like anyone else, my ultimate goal is a healthy baby. Until "D day" I will continue to savor this very last pregnancy and pray for baby's protection and health. Something about experiencing years and years of infertility will truly help you overlook even the most uncomfortable pregnant days. Being able to carry a child is a gift and I'm so grateful to be experiencing it with my husband once more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEbZrY0G9PI
