Wow, here I am two years later because I want to be better about documenting the kids and their milestones and what do I see but Willows SIX month post sitting in my drafts! That's the last time I was on here. I want to write a lot more to catch up, but I may just work backwards and go with what is fresh in my mind.
Tonno got his first tooth at 5 months old! I believe thats my earliest tooth cutter. He cut the second one just says later. Temple got hers right at 6 months but the second one hasn't popped up yet. I can't wait till it does though, I think that even though it doesn't seem to be causing her any pain, it is causing her to wake up a bunch at night. She went from being my better sleeper to waking up a lot more the last few weeks. Both babies are army crawling all over, they seem to like getting off the area rug into the living room and onto the tile in particular for some reason. Temp gets WAY up on her knees and and elbows, I don't think it will be long before she crawling the traditional way. Tonno gets further at this point, but isn't up on his knees like she yet, though he's trying.
Temp is still so generous with her smiles and smiles with her eyes too, somehow. Tonno is a bit more serious and harder to get a smile from, but then, I think his fat cheeks make it harder for him! They've both tried food this week; frozen celery for teething, beet chips (what a bloody MESS!) avocado, one of them had a bite of sweet potato (Tonno I think?), potatoes and mexican rice (just Tempy) and Coconut Curry lentils. Tempy is really loving food, both via BLW and a spoon. Tonno seems to hate the flavor of anything I've tried so far, which is surprising since I thought he'd be my big eater! He LOVES his booba though and just MELTS into me when he nurses. I had a friend tell me it looks like he's making out with my boob! Spot on! Tempy just eats to get it done and then pops off usually. I'm amazed at how much her temperament reminds me of when Willow was a baby, though I dare say I think she'll end up even more laid back. Tonno is getting sooo much easier than he was, honestly, no on really liked him at first and were no afraid to say it. Poor dude! BUT now he gets plenty of attention and lots of "Oh my goodness, I LOVE him!", "He's sooo cute!" or "I'm sorry I didn't like you at first" haha.
He goes to bed when I do and doesn't like to fall asleep on his own, while Temp goes to bed, still preferring to be swaddled, around 8:00 pm. Currently, we keep one mini pack n play on either side of our bed. Temp on Chris's side, Tonno on mine. One baby will wake up and I'll nurse them in a side lying position. Sometimes I transfer them back to their bed, usually not. But then the other baby will wake up and at that point I'll transfer them. Chris always hands Tempy to me. Now Willow has been making her way to our bed once a night. We had to take her railing down since she started climbing out of her crib and we were worried she'd hurt herself. So far taking her back up to bed has worked, though I anticipate nights to come where we may just keep her with us or do the marching back to her room 100 times.
It's been HARD, like REALLY hard having twins on top of everything else we have going on. I think all of my kids are at their hardest ages currently. A senior in HS, middle schooler, 9 year old adolescent, toddler and infant twins. Some days I don't know how I'll get through. Other moments (yes, I said moments, not days!) I feel like I want to bottle it all up and for no one or nothing to ever change. Having kids so spread out and trying to meet them each where they're at has been so hard, each uniquely going through some pretty significant things right now. Some days I feel like such a failure. I barely have time for my husband. I feel really guilty about this but try to stuff it down. I just so desperately want them all to be successful and happy in life, but most importantly to serve the Lord with their heart. I want them to know how much God loves them. To really grasp that. To love others so much that it moves them daily.
More later. One of the babies is awake. Tonno of course! Ha He thinks he needs less sleep than most babies. Who am I to argue? Anyway I'd lose to a baby every time.
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Willow is six months
Oh where do I begin? Sweet Willow just turned six months old, on February 2nd, to be exact. While I'm am trying to savor these early days because babies in particular grow so fast, I cannot for the life of me, get time to stand still. Oh I have moments here and there where it feels as though time has stood still, like when I breathe her in when she falls asleep in my arms, or gazes at me when I'm nursing her, but for the most part, I fully realize this is going by far too quickly. Chris and I often comment on how we couldn't have custom ordered a better baby. She really is a dream. Laid back personality, just so darn content all the time, and full of smiles. She now able to sort of scoot a big to reach toys around her, so usually when I put a blanket down for her, she'll be off of it the next time I look. She has a tooth that is JUST popping out now. I think it's bothered her a bit lately because while she fully sleeps through the night, she's been a bit of a booger to actually get her to sleep. It has been taking up to six tries lately! Naps haven't been quite as bad but similar.
So far, Willow has still only had breastmilk, but I may cut up some food and see if she's ready to feed herself. I'm really not in a huge hurry for this because I know once I do, her poops will dramatically change and start to stink. It was also make cloth diapering not so much fun as before. I'm not sure what Willow weighs or percentiles and all that since she doesn't go the doctors, so I'll need to step on a scale and subtract her weight to get a good idea. My guess is around 18 pounds though.
Levi and I did a little photo shoot for her in the backyard right on her half birthday, and even though she was pretty tired, she did well and I got some good shots! It's also been fun seeing the older girls engaging with Willow more. I think they are more interested because she's more interactive now, but they've both been more hands on with her for sure. Levi still gets the award for who can make her laugh the hardest and easiest though.
So far, Willow has still only had breastmilk, but I may cut up some food and see if she's ready to feed herself. I'm really not in a huge hurry for this because I know once I do, her poops will dramatically change and start to stink. It was also make cloth diapering not so much fun as before. I'm not sure what Willow weighs or percentiles and all that since she doesn't go the doctors, so I'll need to step on a scale and subtract her weight to get a good idea. My guess is around 18 pounds though.
Levi and I did a little photo shoot for her in the backyard right on her half birthday, and even though she was pretty tired, she did well and I got some good shots! It's also been fun seeing the older girls engaging with Willow more. I think they are more interested because she's more interactive now, but they've both been more hands on with her for sure. Levi still gets the award for who can make her laugh the hardest and easiest though.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
My Home Birth Story
My due date was July 21 and with IVF there is not exactly a way to miscalculate it. Even still, I was two days shy of being 42 weeks, and only two days away from the dreaded hospital induction. Legally my midwife can't do a home delivery after 42 weeks so I was cutting it REALLY close.
That Monday all my kids and in laws flew out of Houston to Connecticut so I was really down about them all missing the birth. On top of that, I was feeling very large and uncomfortable. So that same night some girls from my Monday Night Girls Bible study came over to my house to pray for me. They left my house at 10 pm and at 1 am that morning I woke up to feeling damp. I was pretty sure my waters had broken so I waited a bit to see if I had any contrations to go along with it. I had a couple of mild ones but decided to text my midwife to let her know about my waters. Due to me having exessive fluid, she was concerned about having a prolapsed cord when my waters broke. She came over at about 4 am to check the baby's heart rate and test to see if it was really amniotic fluid I was leaking. It was indeed amniotic fluid but baby sounded great so she left and told me to call her if contractions picked up at all. I went back to bed and didn't have anymore contractions to speak of.
That morning I was having some contractions about 8-12 minutes apart, nothing too intense but Chris stayed home from work. We had a really relaxed morning and even grabbed lunch at Chili's. By now contractions weren't very regular at all and I was worried labor was stalling out. I only had one the whole time we were at lunch!
We decided to go for a walk after lunch to see if we could get contractions to pick up and get closer together. I really didn't want to have an August 3rd baby - doesn't August 2nd sound so much better?? - silly I know, but it mattered to this very overly pregnant lady! It was SO hot on the walk so we weren't out long. We decided it would be wise to get as much rest as possible so we took a nap around 2:00pm. When I woke up, contractions started to be 8-10 minutes apart again and occasionally fairly uncomfortable.
We continued with our laid back day and around 8:00 pm when it was finally cool enough to be outside, I put my legs in the pool for a change of scenery, meditated on some positive affirmations and read a little from my Bible. Chris went to the grocery store for some more nectarines and turkey (both of which would unfortunately make a reappearance later on) for me to fuel up on during labor. Around this time, both my doula and midwife separately texted and said they were going to head my way. I agreed, though remember thinking I really hoped labor would pick up so we weren't just twiddling our thumbs, staring at each other.
At 8:45pm I was suddenly getting some intense contractions and decided to go inside. Thankfully Chris was back from the store. A few minutes later my midwife and doula arrived; both a welcomed sight (to Chris in particular who welcomed the help). My midwife checked me and I was between 5-6 centimeters. I had already been at about 4cm for a couple weeks prior. Contractions were still pretty strong and I rocked my hips as Chris used counter pressure and I enjoyed the music on the playlist I had made. My doula continued to use essential oils to help with my nausea and pain management, though the nausea I was feeling turned into me getting sick. I was pretty certain I was in transition or close to it now.
I decided to get into the tub we had in our room. During contractions Chris would pray in my ear. The tub felt good for awhile and then I couldn't seem to get comfortable in it anymore. I didn't like how when I squatted the water wouldn't quite cover my lower back, where I was having the most pain. I decided to move into the shower and Chris used the shower nozzle to spray really hot water on my lower back. I only lasted for about 15 minutes in there, I was getting hot and this is where contractions really started to intensify.
At this point, I had abandoned calmly letting Chris and the doula know "Another contraction is about to start" and just started saying "Help me!"; their cue to apply a ton of counter pressure to my hips or lower back.
I asked the midwife to check me again even though only a couple hours had gone by. I was only at 7 cm. This was the first time I was a bit discouraged. I thought I should be further along for how intense my contractions had been for the last couple of hours. She told me one of my bag of waters was actually still intact and was bulging. She asked if I wanted her to break it but warned me it would create a LOT of pressure. I eagerly agreed and almost immediately felt not only pressure but the urge to push. I got on my hands and knees on the floor and started to push though I didn't have much strength to hold myself up.
At about 11:30pm, Sherry asked me if I wanted to go back in the tub or onto the bed. I really didn't care, nor was I really in a state to make any decisions. They suggested I move to the bed and I ended up on my side there, with Chris holding up one of my legs. I pushed as I felt the urge, and rested in between contractions, which had spread out to about 8 minutes apart again. Oh that resting time in between was wonderful and pushing against contractions felt like a relief! I was in such a relaxed trance. Everyone just quietly and patiently waited as I listened to my body and let it do its work.
I pushed about four times when my body told me to and the head emerged. I didn't know it then, but the cord was wrapped tighly round the neck so Sherry calmly told me she needed me to give another push. She helped get the baby out by slipping one of the shoulders out and then I was able to push the rest of the baby out. Sherry was then able to get the cord off from around the neck.
Willow Holland was born at 11:57pm on August 2nd, weighing 8 lbs even. She was placed on my stomach where we just cried and marveled over the miracle that had just occured. Fifteen minutes after she was born, the cord was clamped and Chris cut it. I brought her up onto my chest now that she could reach past my stomach.
We then realized we still didn't know if we had a boy or a girl. After some confusion, Chris announced that is was a GIRL! What an amazing, unforgettable night and we're so grateful to have had the birth experience we hoped and planned for. Willow Holland, you're everything we prayed for and then some!
Check out a little slideshow of her birth here:
That Monday all my kids and in laws flew out of Houston to Connecticut so I was really down about them all missing the birth. On top of that, I was feeling very large and uncomfortable. So that same night some girls from my Monday Night Girls Bible study came over to my house to pray for me. They left my house at 10 pm and at 1 am that morning I woke up to feeling damp. I was pretty sure my waters had broken so I waited a bit to see if I had any contrations to go along with it. I had a couple of mild ones but decided to text my midwife to let her know about my waters. Due to me having exessive fluid, she was concerned about having a prolapsed cord when my waters broke. She came over at about 4 am to check the baby's heart rate and test to see if it was really amniotic fluid I was leaking. It was indeed amniotic fluid but baby sounded great so she left and told me to call her if contractions picked up at all. I went back to bed and didn't have anymore contractions to speak of.
That morning I was having some contractions about 8-12 minutes apart, nothing too intense but Chris stayed home from work. We had a really relaxed morning and even grabbed lunch at Chili's. By now contractions weren't very regular at all and I was worried labor was stalling out. I only had one the whole time we were at lunch!
We decided to go for a walk after lunch to see if we could get contractions to pick up and get closer together. I really didn't want to have an August 3rd baby - doesn't August 2nd sound so much better?? - silly I know, but it mattered to this very overly pregnant lady! It was SO hot on the walk so we weren't out long. We decided it would be wise to get as much rest as possible so we took a nap around 2:00pm. When I woke up, contractions started to be 8-10 minutes apart again and occasionally fairly uncomfortable.
We continued with our laid back day and around 8:00 pm when it was finally cool enough to be outside, I put my legs in the pool for a change of scenery, meditated on some positive affirmations and read a little from my Bible. Chris went to the grocery store for some more nectarines and turkey (both of which would unfortunately make a reappearance later on) for me to fuel up on during labor. Around this time, both my doula and midwife separately texted and said they were going to head my way. I agreed, though remember thinking I really hoped labor would pick up so we weren't just twiddling our thumbs, staring at each other.
At 8:45pm I was suddenly getting some intense contractions and decided to go inside. Thankfully Chris was back from the store. A few minutes later my midwife and doula arrived; both a welcomed sight (to Chris in particular who welcomed the help). My midwife checked me and I was between 5-6 centimeters. I had already been at about 4cm for a couple weeks prior. Contractions were still pretty strong and I rocked my hips as Chris used counter pressure and I enjoyed the music on the playlist I had made. My doula continued to use essential oils to help with my nausea and pain management, though the nausea I was feeling turned into me getting sick. I was pretty certain I was in transition or close to it now.
I decided to get into the tub we had in our room. During contractions Chris would pray in my ear. The tub felt good for awhile and then I couldn't seem to get comfortable in it anymore. I didn't like how when I squatted the water wouldn't quite cover my lower back, where I was having the most pain. I decided to move into the shower and Chris used the shower nozzle to spray really hot water on my lower back. I only lasted for about 15 minutes in there, I was getting hot and this is where contractions really started to intensify.
At this point, I had abandoned calmly letting Chris and the doula know "Another contraction is about to start" and just started saying "Help me!"; their cue to apply a ton of counter pressure to my hips or lower back.
I asked the midwife to check me again even though only a couple hours had gone by. I was only at 7 cm. This was the first time I was a bit discouraged. I thought I should be further along for how intense my contractions had been for the last couple of hours. She told me one of my bag of waters was actually still intact and was bulging. She asked if I wanted her to break it but warned me it would create a LOT of pressure. I eagerly agreed and almost immediately felt not only pressure but the urge to push. I got on my hands and knees on the floor and started to push though I didn't have much strength to hold myself up.
At about 11:30pm, Sherry asked me if I wanted to go back in the tub or onto the bed. I really didn't care, nor was I really in a state to make any decisions. They suggested I move to the bed and I ended up on my side there, with Chris holding up one of my legs. I pushed as I felt the urge, and rested in between contractions, which had spread out to about 8 minutes apart again. Oh that resting time in between was wonderful and pushing against contractions felt like a relief! I was in such a relaxed trance. Everyone just quietly and patiently waited as I listened to my body and let it do its work.
I pushed about four times when my body told me to and the head emerged. I didn't know it then, but the cord was wrapped tighly round the neck so Sherry calmly told me she needed me to give another push. She helped get the baby out by slipping one of the shoulders out and then I was able to push the rest of the baby out. Sherry was then able to get the cord off from around the neck.
Willow Holland was born at 11:57pm on August 2nd, weighing 8 lbs even. She was placed on my stomach where we just cried and marveled over the miracle that had just occured. Fifteen minutes after she was born, the cord was clamped and Chris cut it. I brought her up onto my chest now that she could reach past my stomach.
Check out a little slideshow of her birth here:
Monday, June 27, 2016
Why We Chose Home Birth
At some point I'll start back at the beginning and also post about our IVF journey and God's many answered prayers and redemption through all of it....
For now, I thought I'd share how and why we decided to do a home birth. As you can imagine, I've gotten mixed reactions, mostly of surprise or curiosity, some who don't ask a single question about it but quickly tiptoe out of the "awkward" conversation...those always make me laugh! I've also gotten a lot of support and very, very little negativity!
My first two births were fifteen and eleven and a half years ago, respectively, and were hospital births. At the time, honestly, the thought of a home birth never even entered my brain. Juliet's birth was smooth, I had an epidural and in 12 hours she had arrived. With Allison, it was somewhat of a traumatic birth. My water broke at just 35 weeks and they administered the dreaded pitocin which brought on STRONG and constant contractions. They failed to check my progress before administering the epidural and they also administered it incorrectly, causing my entire left side to be completely on FIRE. While I was laying on my side while they frantically tried to fix it, I had to PUSH. Needless to say, I ended up giving birth in even more pain, with my left side on fire. Plus feeling the lovely "jello legs" effects of the epidural keeping me bed bound for hours, long after she was out. But I have to say, pushing was a wonderful release and I liked being able to feel that urge.
This time I knew I wanted a different experience. I just knew there had to be a better way for me personally to give birth. And I sincerely didn't enjoy being in such a cold, sterile environment of the hospital. So I started to look into delivering in a birth center. It was around this same time that Chris and I watched "The Business of Being Born" (PHENOMENAL and empowering) on Netflix while researching other birthing options. If you've never seen this, it is very eye opening. So many things I would have done differently with my girls if I only knew! Another new favorite resource of mine is Ina May's "Guide to Childbirth". She is an incredibly experienced midwife and so full of wisdom!
This may surprise you, especially if you know my husband, but after watching this movie together, it was actually Chris who turned to me and said "why don't we just do a home birth?" Say whaaaat???
After we discussed it further (and I confirmed that Chris hadn't completely lost his mind!) we decided that since this baby came about in the most artificial, scientific way possible, we wanted our actual pregnancy and birthing process to be as natural and God-centered as possible! How much more natural can you get than delivering in your own bedroom with your husband catching your baby?! The choice became clear!
I found an independent midwife who works out of her home, so all of my prenatal visits are in her cozy home office. No germy OB/GYN office to deal with! She is all about natural, so will often "prescribe" me teas or essential oils to take for labor prep or aches and pains. I also LOVE that some of the tests and procedures that are normally "standard practice" in the medical field and presented to you as "mandatory", are actually NOT and I can (and did!) opt out of many of them! No need for me to go through procedures or tests that are actually completely unnecessary. I love that!
Back to the Reasons I'm Planning A Home Birth
1. I love my freedom and independence. I don't want someone telling me what I can and can't eat or drink during labor or what position I have to birth in. Flat on my back while pushing??? No thanks! I can also wear what I want, which may be NOTHING at all! No annoying, gross hospital gown necessary. I also LOVE that I will not have people (strangers) coming in and out of my room at their free will while I'm trying to focus and my husband and I are experiencing one of the most intimate moments we will ever have together! Hospital procedures and regulations? Don't have to deal with them!
2. I don't like hospitals. If you know me, you will know that I am not a huge fan of hospitals or doctors offices. I only go if totally necessary. I personally believe that hospitals are for sick or injured people. I am not sick or injured, I'm pregnant! I sincerely don't want to be treated like a medical patient and or that my being pregnant is a "medical condition". I am excited and ready to allow my body to do what God designed it to do in the comfort of my own home, apart from unnecessary medical interventions. I'm a big believer in having your baby where you are most comfortable. Chris and I have put a lot of time and effort making our house into a home, so for us our comfort is emphatically at home.
3. I get to choose who will be in and out of my room. In my past births, I didn't know a soul in the hospital, other than my significant other and whatever other family members were there. The nurses were all strangers to me, and while most were wonderful, I quickly found out they would disappear when their shift ended and a new nurse would show up! And if I was lucky enough for my doctor to be on call the day I gave birth, she was would basically show up for the last 30 minutes to an hour, in time to deliver the baby. Wasn't exactly a very personal, intimate experience to say the least. This time around, it will be just myself and Chris and our kids for my early labor. At some point when I'm ready and wanting them to, my wonderful doula, midwife, and her assistant will come to the house. There won't be nurses coming in and out of my room in the middle of the night, waking me up to check vitals, etc. I will be very thankful for SLEEP this time after what will surely be a long, exhausting day.
4. I have to rely on God and God alone for my relief. While my doula, midwife and even Chris have LOTS of tricks up their sleeves to help me remain as comfortable as possible during labor, ultimately I know I need to rely on God for me to make it through labor free from medical pain-relief. He's all I'll have to get me through! My kids decorated some amazing birth affirmations for me to put around the bedroom and Chris is armed with scripture verses to say to me throughout. I've also got an amazing worship songs playlist ready to go. I really want a God-centered birth, where the presence of the Holy Spirit is clearly evident. In a hospital setting, I'm certain I would give in to an epidural knowing it's available to me. Again, this time I'll have no choice but to fully rely on God's strength and grace to get me through. And I'm excited my kids will get to witness that!
5. I get to have a water birth. I had wanted to labor in the water in the hospital with Allison, but wasn't allowed for multiple reasons. They wouldn't let me because my water had broken, not to mention I was hooked up to so many monitors and tubes, it wouldn't have been possible. This time around, I won't be hooked up to anything and can labor where I want, when I want! So many less restrictions. I even plan on going into our pool with our kiddos, at least in early labor. They are wonderful distractions!
6. I don't have to pack a hospital bag or wonder when to head to the hospital. Neither is even a thought to me. And I love that I don't have to do the dreaded, uncomfortable car ride to the hospital. If you've ever had contractions in a car, for some reason they seem 100x worse! But I don't need to pack anything, go anywhere or deal with the hour long process of questions and paperwork just to get admitted.
7. Bonding with baby will be uninterrupted. I'm so excited for us all cuddling up in our king bed together in the days after baby arrives. No distractions and nothing to do besides bond. My midwife will come back to the house to check on myself and baby a couple days after baby is born, but other than that, it will just be us. Yay!
Going through the IVF process really changed me somehow. Even though it was fairly smooth for us, it was still a LOT of work and a very odd, clinical process. For some reason it made me want to do everything following the embryo transfer as naturally as possible. After the required ultrasounds by the fertility clinic stopped at 12 weeks, I haven't had or wanted an ultrasound since. We will also be cloth diapering this little nugget, placenta encapsulation, and delayed cord clamping. If it's a boy, he will remain intact and unaltered, just as God made him. Fun fact, my brother was a home birth and I was supposed to be as well (I didn't cooperate when I came two weeks late) but my placenta was buried in the yard I grew up in and where my mother still lives today!
If, during labor, it becomes absolutely necessary and my midwife advises it, I'm not opposed to being transferred to one of our many nearby hospitals. I can be there in all of about 7 minutes. Like anyone else, my ultimate goal is a healthy baby. Until "D day" I will continue to savor this very last pregnancy and pray for baby's protection and health. Something about experiencing years and years of infertility will truly help you overlook even the most uncomfortable pregnant days. Being able to carry a child is a gift and I'm so grateful to be experiencing it with my husband once more.
And for your viewing pleasure, I'll leave you with one of my favorite stand-up routines by Jim Gaffigan on home birth. Enjoy and thanks for reading!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEbZrY0G9PI
For now, I thought I'd share how and why we decided to do a home birth. As you can imagine, I've gotten mixed reactions, mostly of surprise or curiosity, some who don't ask a single question about it but quickly tiptoe out of the "awkward" conversation...those always make me laugh! I've also gotten a lot of support and very, very little negativity!
My first two births were fifteen and eleven and a half years ago, respectively, and were hospital births. At the time, honestly, the thought of a home birth never even entered my brain. Juliet's birth was smooth, I had an epidural and in 12 hours she had arrived. With Allison, it was somewhat of a traumatic birth. My water broke at just 35 weeks and they administered the dreaded pitocin which brought on STRONG and constant contractions. They failed to check my progress before administering the epidural and they also administered it incorrectly, causing my entire left side to be completely on FIRE. While I was laying on my side while they frantically tried to fix it, I had to PUSH. Needless to say, I ended up giving birth in even more pain, with my left side on fire. Plus feeling the lovely "jello legs" effects of the epidural keeping me bed bound for hours, long after she was out. But I have to say, pushing was a wonderful release and I liked being able to feel that urge.
This time I knew I wanted a different experience. I just knew there had to be a better way for me personally to give birth. And I sincerely didn't enjoy being in such a cold, sterile environment of the hospital. So I started to look into delivering in a birth center. It was around this same time that Chris and I watched "The Business of Being Born" (PHENOMENAL and empowering) on Netflix while researching other birthing options. If you've never seen this, it is very eye opening. So many things I would have done differently with my girls if I only knew! Another new favorite resource of mine is Ina May's "Guide to Childbirth". She is an incredibly experienced midwife and so full of wisdom!
This may surprise you, especially if you know my husband, but after watching this movie together, it was actually Chris who turned to me and said "why don't we just do a home birth?" Say whaaaat???
After we discussed it further (and I confirmed that Chris hadn't completely lost his mind!) we decided that since this baby came about in the most artificial, scientific way possible, we wanted our actual pregnancy and birthing process to be as natural and God-centered as possible! How much more natural can you get than delivering in your own bedroom with your husband catching your baby?! The choice became clear!
I found an independent midwife who works out of her home, so all of my prenatal visits are in her cozy home office. No germy OB/GYN office to deal with! She is all about natural, so will often "prescribe" me teas or essential oils to take for labor prep or aches and pains. I also LOVE that some of the tests and procedures that are normally "standard practice" in the medical field and presented to you as "mandatory", are actually NOT and I can (and did!) opt out of many of them! No need for me to go through procedures or tests that are actually completely unnecessary. I love that!
Back to the Reasons I'm Planning A Home Birth
1. I love my freedom and independence. I don't want someone telling me what I can and can't eat or drink during labor or what position I have to birth in. Flat on my back while pushing??? No thanks! I can also wear what I want, which may be NOTHING at all! No annoying, gross hospital gown necessary. I also LOVE that I will not have people (strangers) coming in and out of my room at their free will while I'm trying to focus and my husband and I are experiencing one of the most intimate moments we will ever have together! Hospital procedures and regulations? Don't have to deal with them!
2. I don't like hospitals. If you know me, you will know that I am not a huge fan of hospitals or doctors offices. I only go if totally necessary. I personally believe that hospitals are for sick or injured people. I am not sick or injured, I'm pregnant! I sincerely don't want to be treated like a medical patient and or that my being pregnant is a "medical condition". I am excited and ready to allow my body to do what God designed it to do in the comfort of my own home, apart from unnecessary medical interventions. I'm a big believer in having your baby where you are most comfortable. Chris and I have put a lot of time and effort making our house into a home, so for us our comfort is emphatically at home.
3. I get to choose who will be in and out of my room. In my past births, I didn't know a soul in the hospital, other than my significant other and whatever other family members were there. The nurses were all strangers to me, and while most were wonderful, I quickly found out they would disappear when their shift ended and a new nurse would show up! And if I was lucky enough for my doctor to be on call the day I gave birth, she was would basically show up for the last 30 minutes to an hour, in time to deliver the baby. Wasn't exactly a very personal, intimate experience to say the least. This time around, it will be just myself and Chris and our kids for my early labor. At some point when I'm ready and wanting them to, my wonderful doula, midwife, and her assistant will come to the house. There won't be nurses coming in and out of my room in the middle of the night, waking me up to check vitals, etc. I will be very thankful for SLEEP this time after what will surely be a long, exhausting day.
4. I have to rely on God and God alone for my relief. While my doula, midwife and even Chris have LOTS of tricks up their sleeves to help me remain as comfortable as possible during labor, ultimately I know I need to rely on God for me to make it through labor free from medical pain-relief. He's all I'll have to get me through! My kids decorated some amazing birth affirmations for me to put around the bedroom and Chris is armed with scripture verses to say to me throughout. I've also got an amazing worship songs playlist ready to go. I really want a God-centered birth, where the presence of the Holy Spirit is clearly evident. In a hospital setting, I'm certain I would give in to an epidural knowing it's available to me. Again, this time I'll have no choice but to fully rely on God's strength and grace to get me through. And I'm excited my kids will get to witness that!
5. I get to have a water birth. I had wanted to labor in the water in the hospital with Allison, but wasn't allowed for multiple reasons. They wouldn't let me because my water had broken, not to mention I was hooked up to so many monitors and tubes, it wouldn't have been possible. This time around, I won't be hooked up to anything and can labor where I want, when I want! So many less restrictions. I even plan on going into our pool with our kiddos, at least in early labor. They are wonderful distractions!
6. I don't have to pack a hospital bag or wonder when to head to the hospital. Neither is even a thought to me. And I love that I don't have to do the dreaded, uncomfortable car ride to the hospital. If you've ever had contractions in a car, for some reason they seem 100x worse! But I don't need to pack anything, go anywhere or deal with the hour long process of questions and paperwork just to get admitted.
7. Bonding with baby will be uninterrupted. I'm so excited for us all cuddling up in our king bed together in the days after baby arrives. No distractions and nothing to do besides bond. My midwife will come back to the house to check on myself and baby a couple days after baby is born, but other than that, it will just be us. Yay!
Going through the IVF process really changed me somehow. Even though it was fairly smooth for us, it was still a LOT of work and a very odd, clinical process. For some reason it made me want to do everything following the embryo transfer as naturally as possible. After the required ultrasounds by the fertility clinic stopped at 12 weeks, I haven't had or wanted an ultrasound since. We will also be cloth diapering this little nugget, placenta encapsulation, and delayed cord clamping. If it's a boy, he will remain intact and unaltered, just as God made him. Fun fact, my brother was a home birth and I was supposed to be as well (I didn't cooperate when I came two weeks late) but my placenta was buried in the yard I grew up in and where my mother still lives today!
If, during labor, it becomes absolutely necessary and my midwife advises it, I'm not opposed to being transferred to one of our many nearby hospitals. I can be there in all of about 7 minutes. Like anyone else, my ultimate goal is a healthy baby. Until "D day" I will continue to savor this very last pregnancy and pray for baby's protection and health. Something about experiencing years and years of infertility will truly help you overlook even the most uncomfortable pregnant days. Being able to carry a child is a gift and I'm so grateful to be experiencing it with my husband once more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEbZrY0G9PI
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Recap on our time in Texas so far
Hello everyone! I am going to do my best to post fairly regularly so that you can all know what's going on in our daily lives and adjustments to Texas. Since a bunch of time has gone on since we moved here, I'll try to recap.
We arrived in Texas December 30th at our new home - The Hilton Homewood Suites, just minutes from the house we were in the process of buying. The trip from Connecticut to Texas was uneventful in a really, really good way. It was, however, not lacking in some great laughs and good times as a family. And of course the occasional moment of "GET ME OUT OF THIS CAR BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND!", in which case we would simply pull over and take the much needed break! Our hotel worked out really well, breakfast everyday including Texas shaped waffles of course. And a nice, complimentary dinner Mondays-Thursdays. For the rest of the nights we were able to eat in our hotel room since it had a kitchen as well. It was a very similar set up and same hotel chain, in fact, as when we adopted Levi and stayed in PA for two weeks.
January 22nd we FINALLY closed on our house! Some days it felt like forever, others it wasn't bad at all. But it was really, really nice to finally be able to spread out and have a place of our own again. We have many, many projects on the horizon but are trying to pace ourselves. We also have A LOOOOOT of wallpaper to tear down. Flowered wall paper just may be the death of us all!
The girls are adjusting very well to their new schools and have been amazingly brave and good sports about starting over and the transition. More on that to come! We leased a horse at a really great ranch 20 minutes away, and it gives us the luxury to ride whenever we like. He's a great horse and there's even a play scape on the ranch so the kids can play on that or go around saying hi to the other 47 horses on the property. There are also dogs, chickens, and two barn kitties, so plenty to do!
I've been doing a Bible study every Tuesday morning at church with about 80 other ladies. We are together for a short DVD and then break into smaller groups to discuss from our workbook which we've done homework in all week. It's called "True Woman 101" and I'm not only meeting some fantastic woman, but I'm also learning so much about being the woman God originally intended us all to be. Really good stuff.
Chris unfortunately has been working, working, and then working some more. There have been many days he's rolled home from the office between 11pm-1am, only to go back in again for 7 or 8 am. He is also working both days of the weekend. Needless to say, we really miss him and cannot WAIT for busy season to be over late March!
We enjoyed a great visit with Chris's parents when they were here a couple weeks ago. We had such a nice time and were blessed with some great biking weather. The two of them also stripped the awful wall paper off my dining room walls so I am very grateful to them for that!
Enjoying a beautiful afternoon in a park 1 mile from our house
Picnic with my mom
At our hotel enjoying gourmet cupcakes.
Charlie was a great hotel doggie!
Three monkeys loving the "suite" life!
First day at our new school! Nervous but did great!
Enjoying our neighborhood park (before we closed on the house)
Our horse, Ty
We arrived in Texas December 30th at our new home - The Hilton Homewood Suites, just minutes from the house we were in the process of buying. The trip from Connecticut to Texas was uneventful in a really, really good way. It was, however, not lacking in some great laughs and good times as a family. And of course the occasional moment of "GET ME OUT OF THIS CAR BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND!", in which case we would simply pull over and take the much needed break! Our hotel worked out really well, breakfast everyday including Texas shaped waffles of course. And a nice, complimentary dinner Mondays-Thursdays. For the rest of the nights we were able to eat in our hotel room since it had a kitchen as well. It was a very similar set up and same hotel chain, in fact, as when we adopted Levi and stayed in PA for two weeks.
January 22nd we FINALLY closed on our house! Some days it felt like forever, others it wasn't bad at all. But it was really, really nice to finally be able to spread out and have a place of our own again. We have many, many projects on the horizon but are trying to pace ourselves. We also have A LOOOOOT of wallpaper to tear down. Flowered wall paper just may be the death of us all!
The girls are adjusting very well to their new schools and have been amazingly brave and good sports about starting over and the transition. More on that to come! We leased a horse at a really great ranch 20 minutes away, and it gives us the luxury to ride whenever we like. He's a great horse and there's even a play scape on the ranch so the kids can play on that or go around saying hi to the other 47 horses on the property. There are also dogs, chickens, and two barn kitties, so plenty to do!
I've been doing a Bible study every Tuesday morning at church with about 80 other ladies. We are together for a short DVD and then break into smaller groups to discuss from our workbook which we've done homework in all week. It's called "True Woman 101" and I'm not only meeting some fantastic woman, but I'm also learning so much about being the woman God originally intended us all to be. Really good stuff.
Chris unfortunately has been working, working, and then working some more. There have been many days he's rolled home from the office between 11pm-1am, only to go back in again for 7 or 8 am. He is also working both days of the weekend. Needless to say, we really miss him and cannot WAIT for busy season to be over late March!
We enjoyed a great visit with Chris's parents when they were here a couple weeks ago. We had such a nice time and were blessed with some great biking weather. The two of them also stripped the awful wall paper off my dining room walls so I am very grateful to them for that!
Enjoying a beautiful afternoon in a park 1 mile from our house
Picnic with my mom
At our hotel enjoying gourmet cupcakes.
Charlie was a great hotel doggie!
Three monkeys loving the "suite" life!
First day at our new school! Nervous but did great!
Enjoying our neighborhood park (before we closed on the house)
Our horse, Ty
100% Chance of Snow!
This past weekend at our church they had "Snow Day", an opportunity for the kids to play in snow since Houston doesn't get any the good ole fashioned way. So meanwhile, back in Connecticut while they got plummeted with the over 2 feet of the white stuff, we had to make our own!
They brought in trucks that chopped up bags of ice and sprayed it all over the (still green)grass. Think the stuff snow cones are made of. Not exactly the real stuff but nice to play in nonetheless. And the best part for us was that the kids had their fun in it, and then we could leave it behind! No shoveling, snow-blowing, or freezing was involved, thank you very much! Enjoy a snow day, Houston-style!
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